Thursday, January 12, 2006

Can he provide for us?

I work as a Junior Partner at one of the most prestigious law firms in Los Angeles and my sweetheart works for in a group home for vulnerable adults as a Counselor. He recently proposed after we had been dating for 3 years, but I have my doubt about being married to a man that makes 1/4 of my salary. When we started dating I was fresh out of college working as legal aid for the same firm so it was not an issue, I had high hopes for us both, I was certain he would finish school and find a better job, but he insisted college was not for him. He dropped out in his junior year and I have not been able to convince him to go back. He loved his job and he insisted money was not everything. I hoped watching me go through law school and getting promoted to Junior Partner would encourage him make something more meaningful of himself, but he is always proud of my achievements and genuinely happy for me, for us! He always insists on paying for meals when we are out and buys me extravagant gifts that he can barely afford. It took him 2 years to save for my 2-karat engagement ring! I would have settled for a less expensive ring or met him half way but he just wouldn't have it. He insists on paying for everything, even when he can't afford it, he'll have us put it off till his next payday.I am embarrassed to take him out with me to company events or cocktail parties with my friends for fear that they may ask him what he does! He always leaves them baffled when he announces proudly that he's a Counselor; from the look on his face you would think he was a Doctor! I love that he doesn't have a complex; maybe I am the one with the problem! He is just as knowledgeable as many of my educated male friends, so why do I see him as inferior in their mix? At my pace and with my determination, I can only excel further, but I am afraid to because of my man. I have not told my parents about the proposal, I can just imagine their reaction and my man wants us to tell them together! My father is a professor at Harvard Law School and my mother is Superintendent of the Massachusetts School District. They are both aware of our relationship but they think I am going through a phase. I love him so much and I know he loves me too, but we are financially incompatible!We plan to have two children and I am afraid that we will not be able to afford them a decent education, or any of the luxuries I was afforded growing up. I know money is not everything but….can he provide for us?